A Mother's Reply ......

“There is so peace in the vision of a future where , the geographical self of the world will run parallel with the social self of it , for me. A journey of immense proportions with more friends than time, more love than ignorance and above all an eternal sense of humility at the incredible system of beauty that makes up this world, my world....my home.”
In this context, I wish to tell you about Rabindranath Tagore. In one of his poems he wrote “deshey deshey mor ghor achhey, ami shei ghor lobo khnujiya”. His spirit was fiercely National but deep inside his heart he felt and envisaged the larger entity that a human being’s soul identified with --- that entity being the “citizen of the world”. Therefore, much ahead of his time, he professed the true beauty of the Globalization of the Human Spirit. He had a kindred soul in Swami Vivekananda, who also saw the spirit of a “conscious” human being designed for a much “larger” existence than merely clinging to one’s country. Both believed in and spoke about the “philosophy of mankind”. I am happy that you can see and feel to be a part of that world.
Much of Rabindranath's ideology come from the teachings of the Upahishads and from his own beliefs that God can be found through personal purity and service to others. He stressed the need for new world order based on transnational values and ideas, the "unity consciousness." He writes, “Koto ojanarey janailey tumi koto ghorey diley thnai
Doorkey koriley nikoto bondhu, porkey koriley bhai”

But the important thing that both he and Vivekananda stress on is to be in absolute communion with the Supreme Force ----- in terms of values and ethical behaviour. To be “in touch” with one’s higher self at all points of time and under all circumstances.
At the end of the above song Rabindranath writes:
"When one knows Thee, then alien there is none, then no door is shut. Oh, grant me my prayer that I may never lose touch of the One in the play of the many." (from Gitanjali)
I see you from 2 states of being. The “feeling mother” longs for your presence all the time; feels scared that you might go far away from her; is constantly anxious and praying for your well being ; for her, your “being” her son is more important than anything in this world and the only thing that matters to her. The “thinking mother” feels immensely happy to see you blossom --- change for the better; become mature and holistic, knowledgeable and successful; visit places, connect societies; reach higher planes in your mind and spread your wings wherever you like. I try to keep the 2 sides in balance because for me both are precious. I need you to just “be my son” and I need you to “be who you are”.

I look past the idealistic possibilities of existence and often focus on the "seeds" of destiny that I have in my genes…….
The more time I spend with myself, the more I realize the gift and the curse I was born with…….
It is essentially the need , and quite often the searing pain I feel within me to know , to understand , to belong ~ And yet, everyday, the more I walk, the farther away , the horizon goes ....in my dreams, in my rational designs , I realize that like Frodo, I must carry this ring alone to Mordor : this is my task, my gift , my curse.
You have a wonderfully special mind and a keen sense of understanding ….. it is really something that you have as a gift from God. Let me tell you that if you use and believe in the word “destiny” it kind of limits your mind’s horizon. The word “Destiny” implies binding and somewhat fatalistic ------as if you’re agreeing to accept things perforce, kicking and screaming. Instead, if you look at it this way it will contribute to elevate your understanding of the part of you which you have made no “conscious contribution” to shape up.
Look at everything as IMMENSE POSSIBILITIES and OPPORTUNITIES given by God for your growth. You being born in India to a set of parents have been given a set of opportunities to flourish and are going to be given those kinds of opportunities because God has decided those to be the guideline structure for you. These are not “seeds” of destiny but a path chosen for you…. which is as beautiful as any other path. Apart from this, you will be given other opportunities as well ----- provided you can recognize and put them to good use.

At one point in our lives, all of us seem to believe, through rationalization, that we are the creators / bringers on of everything that happens to us. By “everything” I mean EVERYTHING. But as time goes by and one matures through age and experiences, it is extremely strange how through one’s keen “consciousness” God reveals another picture where one sees that all that has happened has happened with His will , His working, His design. He sat smilingly watching us huff and puff and arrive at conclusions about ourselves and others. If at that early age we could have shut down “our very important selves” and heard our “inner voices” we could walk better on our life’s path with His guidance. Today you think you’re “walking away” but I think it is a journey on which you are being urged on to come closer to yourself and your IDENTITY. At the end of it you’ll be surprised to see where , in your understanding of the self, you have reached.

The last thing ---- it is my request to you to NEVER ever refer to anything about yourself as” a curse” because nothing is. Everything in life is a boon because God loves us. It is through our dark understanding that we identify “a curse”. You should permanently erase that word from your understanding and look at everything ----- all ideas and experiences as BOONS. Things will work GREAT.
………how much a part of me would never fail to answer the call of this mystic land of wonder and heritage, it was a sense of cultural duty and an almost magnetic pull that emanated from the 18 summers I had spent locked in its brown womb.
About your “belonging to India” ---- why should you be writing “18 summers I spent locked in its brown womb?” Why ,,,,,, I wonder.Yet , there was another voice in my head ~ like the breath of a silent inevitability, it spoke to me : I wasn't meant to dissolve into the nameless crowds and the smell of fried onions and sandalwood, this was a journey that has started many light years ago , with the birth of a single consciousness in the enigmatic vistas of space: a consciousness that I shared with every living thing on this planet . The limits of my cultural and social maturity cannot end and should not end within the confines of a single microcosm of our society.

I agree with you 100% that you were not “meant to dissolve into the nameless crowds and the smell of fried onions and sandalwood”. What is your place “in the enigmatic vistas of space”, where will it be , I am absolutely confident you will find out but to do this you must KNOW ----- really KNOW about the land and the thinkers and shapers of the country you were born in. This is for 2 reasons.
One is purely from a metaphysical view ----- that if you believe that you share your “consciousness with every living being on this planet” (and I would say even beyond it in the Universe) then there must be a definite purpose for you to have been born as Indian and not as British or French or German. It will be worthwhile to undertake that journey within yourself to find out why you are Indian in the first place.

Talking of “every living being on this planet”, --- be it trees, animals, birds, algae, bacteria survey and learn about their habitat surroundings. They are not IGNORANT about where they have “been born”. If surroundings are unfavourable, they “make arrangements” to improve and adapt. If they can’t they fly or move away. But they KNOW. Now …. they work through an intelligence which we would be comfortable to term “intuition”. Human beings have not only intuition but multiple intelligence levels. They have the gift of choice. So, using that, they make more mistakes than other forms of life. They do marvelous things with that too. To sum up, I would say, it is time now for you to READ about India. Read what some of the Best Minds of our country have had to say about her. Really find out what constitutes this country because in order to move on you must KNOW you’re STARTING POINT in and out. And believe me, everyday that I am reading about or talking to some of these “special people” it is a revelation --- something new that is our country. Doing this will help you stand on “firmer ground” in your mind to take the step out from. The moral clashes I had with almost every segment of Indian society will remain because it is foolish to paint a “rosy picture” of our society because like all other countries this does not exist. But this is also true that you must KNOW a little more than what you do about India. Let me tell you I am learning everyday ---- reading people who really matter --- to know the psyche of our land.
The other reason is ----- it will lead you through perfect guidelines. Why Rabindranath professed a global view when other so called Hindu stalwarts of his time clung on to “religion”; distorted the demands made by it and criticized his broader perspective ---- why he thought “travelling” was an essential part of a conscious human being’s complete internal growth, why he (for that matter as well as Gandhi) thought that the wind of all cultures should blow into his room from the open windows. Why at all a man “in order to be COMPLETE should be exposed to the globalization of his spirit” ----- it could possibly give you a structure. It will ease your “searing pain” and there will be some “peace in the vision of the future”.

What restrains the dynasty of violence from shredding apart the very fabric of our national brotherhood and international identity? The more I read, the more I watch, the more I see, I can barely keep still ~ my insides are torn apart with the storms of indecision and helplessness , and a very important question keeps coming to mind : what is my battle ? Maybe you’ll find a lead to an answer to your question of how these great minds handled the need for international identity much ahead of its time.

In restrospective , I have no concrete ideology that defines a home …….
I am absolutely confident that you will. You are very very young and remember my words to you today ----- your experiences in life will lead you from chapter to chapter of your “realizations”. In all this what will remain constant is your CORE VALUES, your ETHICS. Your realization today that you are “a wanderer” is as applicable and true as will be some other realization as life unfolds. It has happened to all “conscious human beings” and the beauty of it all is to be very happy with all the experiences that come your way, to take the positive and let the not so good slip off your “psyche” as water on duck’s back.
My birth was just a matter of chance , the formative forces for my fragile nucleus to use and understand……
This is not quite correct. From whatever little that we have read about life and past lives and gone through past life regression experiences ----- I believe none of the births are a matter of chance. The Universe is aware of every single life being created and every life on earth leaving material existence and joining the energy force. And I who have held you inside me for 9 months before letting you touch the soil of the earth do not believe this and you should respect my strong faith in it. The Universe “took great care” to give you life. Respect it and do justice to it in living wonderfully, fulfillingly and completely.

With all my love and complete belief in you ---- the wonderful person that you are

Ma